In April of 2009 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a feeling something was “not right,” and went to a doctor to find out what the problem was. Never, for a moment, did I think I had cancer. I felt fine, my energy was good…but it was time to get things checked out.
Then began a battery of tests, visits to other doctors, biopsies, pathology reports, scans and a myriad tests that came at me like a run-away train. With each appointment and each new test it became increasingly clear that what was “not right” could, indeed be very, very wrong.
By the time I had my consult with a surgeon, I was pretty well assured that the diagnosis was cancer. So it didn’t come as a shock. But what was truly remarkable to me was that the news did not disrupt my peace. I wasn’t overwhelmed by the diagnosis, or traumatized. In fact, I felt very calm and highly optimistic.
This feeling of peace stayed with me in the days and weeks that followed. It was with me as I began chemotherapy and had more blood drawn from me than I knew I had. It stayed with me as I met other people that were receiving treatment, and as I spoke with family, friends and loved ones about this new and unexpected turn in my life.
In fact, the phrase that kept repeating in my mind through all of this was. “God loves me and wants me to be happy.” And I knew that God's gifts of love and peace and joy remained constantly available to me--even in the midst of this.
I kept wondering, “Am I so totally in denial that I now need a psychiatrist in addition to an oncologist?” But the feeling of peace was concrete and unshakable.
And then it hit me: my spiritual practice had become so integrated into my life that it allowed me to move peacefully though a time that could have otherwise been horrific. My spiritual practice prepared me, in ways that I could never expect, to move peacefully through my problems.
My spiritual practice is A Course in Miracles, and a part of this website is devoted a discussion of the basic principles of the Course. But it's not important which path we choose. What is important is that we choose one. What's important is that each of us finds a way to nourish and cultivate our spiritual life so that we can allow our greater wisdom and true nature to guide us every moment of every day.
And so I welcome you to this web site. It is my hope that these pages help you and those you love find peace in a storm.